Maybe she's not into you?
by Jaxon21
Summary: Robin seeks out Regina's ex girlfriend Emma for dating advice. What could go wrong?


**So I really want to improve my writing and I had this for a very long time in my head. Hope you enjoy it and laugh as much about it, as I did.**  
 **Have fun!**

 **PS. it's Anti OQ & Anti CS!**

* * *

 _Emma Swan was madly in love with Regina Mills!_

 _In fact, they had dated for over a year. But after a huge misunderstanding about Hook, Regina broke it off and it had wrecked Emma._

 _But Regina being - well Regina, she had cut off the blonde and the only reason they'd communicate was Henry._

 _Somehow, Emma had hoped that the lost year and her being in New York would change something._

 _Well, it did change something. Regina had a boyfriend. Robin Hood, yeah...THAT Robin Hood!_

 _The perfect blonde, blue eyed, toothpaste white grinning idiot, called Robin._

 _He was perfect, for hetero standards he was. But Emma was far from hetero and just thought he was annoying and useless._

 _Emma somehow understood why Regina had slept with Graham, she once thought too that he was a nice and really good looking guy._

 _But Robin? It got to be a joke and Emma couldn't manage to see the punchline?_

 _Oh and what about the misunderstanding, you ask?_

 _Hook had kissed Emma in Neverland. He wanted pay back for saving Charming and used that moment of weakness and fear._

 _The pirate had full force surprised her and the moment the sheriff noticed what was happening. She had pushed him off of her._

 _Emma immediately told Regina. But the Queen closed off and sent her to hell; along with her feelings._

 _Hook of course knew no boundaries and had tried to pursue her even more, once they were back in Storybrooke._

 _"Love, you just need a good man to come to terms with your real sexuality. The Queen is appealing, I give you that. But I'm devilishly handsome." He had slurred one night at the rabbit hole._

 _Emma's anger had bubbled up, her magic got out of control and the pirate flew across the room - along with his flask._

* * *

It was another night at the rabbit hole, where Emma voiced her worries and feelings to her old friend whisky.

She missed Regina and it drove her mad. What she'd do to get a chance and talk to the Mayor.

After a few minutes of sulking and quietly bitching at herself, she felt a presence.

Slowly the savior's head turned to the side and there was Robin, who walked towards her.

"Evening sheriff!" He politely tipped his head and plopped down beside her.

"I'll have a beer." He nodded to the bartender and then glanced curiously at Emma.

"Robin, what a pleasure!" Emma spat ironically and the blonde man laughed briefly.

"What brings you here? Don't you have to be somewhere else? Playing house and stuff?" She mumbled in her drink and downed her whisky; wincing at the taste.

The blonde man looked unsure at her and then sipped from his beer. After a little pause he cleared his throat and fidgeted with his ring.

"I sought you out on purpose, Emma." He finally admitted and Emma looked baffled at him.

"How come?!" She slowly asked and tapped her fingers rather nervously on the wooden surface of the bar counter.

"You know Regina for a long time now and she's sometimes so cold. I don't really know what to do and considering that you two are friends. Well I thought I'd ask you for advice." He explained, blue eyes twinkling for a second.

"Ha! Friends - yeah my ass!" Emma grumbled and closed her eyes. _She couldn't believe it, Robin Hood wanted dating advice from her! Out of all people on this godforsaken planet_.

"Look, Regina is - complicated. It will take time. But you two are soul mates, right? You'll soon have the perfect life, with picket white fences and golden retriever."

"What's a golden retriever?" He asked seriously interested and Emma rolled her eyes so hard.

She raised her hand and motioned for another drink, then looked at Robin again.

"Listen Emma, what I am about to tell you, is very intimate. She doesn't want to have sexual intercourse with me." He whined and Emma nearly fell off her barstool.

 _WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? AND WHO USES SEXUAL INTERCOURSE ANYMORE?_

"Okay Robin, this is enough! Maybe you should consider talking to her, instead of me? Her ex girlfriend?"

Robin opened his mouth, then closed it and opened it again "This must be awkward for you. But maybe she's not that into sex? The only person who can help is you." He said hopeful and Emma smirked for a second.

"Well, in my experience she's very into sex!" she shoot back and Robin swallowed.

"Sorry Robin, I gotta go." She threw some bills on the bar counter and got off her seat.

"Wait, where are you going?" He asked alarmed and tried to get a hold of her.

But Emma slapped his hand away and looked sternly at him.

"I'm going to win my woman back! Fairy dust, soul mate crap - be damned. Nothing personal, Robin. But it is the only right thing to do." She patted his shoulder and left the bar _. Okay and maybe it was a bit personal too. She couldn't stand that guy!_

* * *

It took exactly two knocks on the mansion door and Regina looked angry at Emma.

"What do you want?" She spat and her eyes shoot daggers at Emma.

"You." Emma simply said and grabbed Regina's hand. At first the brunette tried to free herself, but gave up. Emma's body against hers just felt so good.

"I'm sorry that Hook kissed me, I can't take it back, I can't undo it. But know this, I only love you - always have - always will. If you give me this chance, I'll prove it to you every single day of the rest of our lives." The blonde whispered and held Regina's emotional gaze.

"It hurt me, Emma." The Queen whispered back and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"I know and I'm so sorry that this happened. Will you give me a chance?" Emma asked carefully.

All kinds of emotions were glimmering in Regina's eyes and she searched the blondes green eyes.

"Yes!" The brunette breathed after a long moment. Emma smiled tenderly and laid a hand on Regina's neck, pulling her in for a soft kiss.

Regina kissed her slowly back - wrapping her arms around Emma's upper body.

Tongues where exploring and reveling in old memories. Hands roamed and grabbed suddenly frantically.

"Wait, what about Robin?" Regina asked breathless and Emma smirked.

"I think he knows what's up!" She mumbled innocently and Regina raised one her eyebrows.

"What did you do?" She slowly asked.

"Uhm, told him that I'm going to win you?" Emma admitted and blushed.

"Oh Emma!" Regina laughed, which took the blonde by surprise. But a happy surprise.

"I'll deal with him tomorrow. Now come and undress me. I've missed you!" Regina smirked and made her way up to her bedroom.

Emma jumped in motion and followed the brunette. Happy to oblige.

 **Fin.**


End file.
